I have been laid off work for 4 months this year. During that time I used saving to cover bills and move us back home to catch a local job close to home. We have been settled in our new location since May. Ahhh nice to being almost home. Only 2 1/2 hours away from what we call home. I went back to work in August. With my job I count on the 72 hour weeks to pay for Garys quality of life treatments. With this job I will be only working 40 hours which is good and bad. The bad is it barely covers bills and no treatment for Gary. The bad is Gary seems to be declining more rapid. Watching him slowly loose this battle breaks my heart. Part of me wants to run as fast as I can. No where particular just run. The good is I am home more and can help him more and take care of the house responsibilities. I just can not get over the fact that I feel like I am failing my husband, failing my friend, I promised I would take care of him and make sure he has what he needs. The last post I shared a article that I could really relate to, being so angry that my expectations for those around me are so very high. I can see that very much but not sure why that is a result from my anger and hurt. I just had to share. I am trying to do what I can but it seems like all the stops are out and I can not do any more. I am so sorry.
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